Saucy Sister: My Testimony

I grew up in a "Christian" home, that is, I was raised with church as a weekly part of my life. I was a child, and I am sure I believed in God, but I distinctly remember thinking that God was something I would get to later in life, but for now I would have my fun and do things my own way.

Then at age thirteen, something happened. There was turmoil at home. My father was dabbling in drugs and women, and my mother was talking divorce.

I had this sense that what was going on around me, in a home that was so chaotic, was spiritual. I also sensed that as an unbeliever, I was in a position of powerlessness, of ultimate destruction and despair. I wanted to "switch teams."

At church, where my father seemed to parade his indiscretions, I was mostly suspicious of the preacher and the doctrine, but at benediction time, I always felt that the preacher was speaking directly to me. I know understand it was the Holy Spirit calling me home.

Then one Sunday, I broke down. I knew it was my turn to confess my sin, and accept Christ as my Savior. But, Satan, as a last truly desperate attempt, tried to deter me, by making me feel ashamed to admit in front of the church that I was still a sinner, especially since I knew all the Bible stories and went to church and Sunday school. But, I dismissed that voice and basically dared myself to walk to the front, at the last minute, mind you, and give my life to the Lord. (Interestingly, during other times in my spiritual life, when I sensed that God was calling me to do something, I would have to overcome my fear by daring myself to take action, whether it was speaking up about a wrong, witnessing to someone, when it terrified me, or taking a step of faith in some seemingly hopeless situation.)

I am not perfect, but I love people and I love God. For years, I accepted Christ as my Savior, but not necessarily as my Lord and Master. I believed God for my salvation, but did not truly trust Him with anything else in my life. Plus, I wanted to do things my way still, and I wasn't convinced that God's plan for me would be enjoyable.

In the last two years, I found, to my joy and amazement, that I was wrong. God knows me more than I do myself. And His plan for me is better than I could have ever imagined or dared to ask for. I am still learning to trust Him and falling more and more in love with Him.

--Sausy Sister

Key verses:

Jeremiah 17:7-8
7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.